Monday, October 19, 2015

True Happiness?

Maybe my soul has been attached to sadness and sorrow. I can never have a single day without being so depressed about so many things, but I keep it all inside. I couldn't scream. I couldn't yell at anyone. Everything just locked up inside of me while slowly growing into a very big, painful, wound. I'm saved by my faith. It makes me cried in my prayers. Maybe if I don't feel this sad everyday, I won't be able to get myself to Allah. Maybe I should feel this sad so I would beg for His comfort everyday. Maybe I should feel this much depressed so I would stay humble. Somehow, I learned that pain has become a big part of my life. And I through it all each night, eventhough I have to spend hours for crying instead of sleeping, but I always ended up the night with Him. If I were so happy, maybe I would be far from Him. Maybe the reason I was given this illness is because Allah wants me to stay grounded and give my soul and sadness only to Him. Because only after I felt this much pain, I would feel the most happiness after I give it all to Him.

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