Monday, September 21, 2015

Naive

Today I learned something about myself. I'm more naive than I thought I am. I always put my feelings way too deep in everything I do and that is why I often hurt myself from expecting way too much from others. That's why I can't just ignore it when things go wrong in front of me. I know for a fact that things will get better for them. I know that it's not my capacity to do something or say anything. I know the thing that I thought was bad might not really as bad as it seems. But I just wish, somehow, people will at least show their concern, or someone will tell that lady that it's gonna be alright and ensure her that it's not as bad as she thought. That would be enough for me.

I remember the day before, my mom came home after work and she looked so down, and she told me that she was being misunderstood by her colleagues and no one was there for her at that time. I remember how sad my mom was, and that's why I felt related to the lady at my workplace. I know she might just misunderstand things, but I see her face and how she looked almost cried. I remember my mom and I'm feel like I should do something to her. But I don't know what to do, and I see that in front of me, my colleagues didn't seem to be bothered by what just happened in front of them. 

Oh, well... maybe it's just casual things that always happen. And maybe I was being overthinking. But still I think it would be much better if someone actually tried to cheer up the lady. So, I ran downstairs in hoping to catch her up and maybe talk a bit to make her feel better, but she's gone already. And I couldn't help but felt guilty.

Again, this is just me being too overthinking and a bit shocked on the new working world that I just got in, and maybe soon or later I will learn to get use to it like the others. Maybe somehow I will learn to understand that I'm not responsible for everything and that everyone has their own problems. It's perfectly normal.

But still, if that happened to my mom, or even to me, I would hope for someone to cheer me up and ensure me that it's not as bad as I thought it was. And maybe that's why I will never fit in the modern lifestyle where people become so independent and careless about other people and that's considered normal. Oh, maybe that's just me. Maybe that's just my absurd mind.

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