Saturday, April 5, 2014

About Happiness and A Friend

I finally have something to write in here again. 

Well, I have a bestfriend in Highschool named Dhanti. We were close, but we had to went separate ways. She went to Semarang because she got UNDIP and I stayed in Jakarta. Since then, we rarely met each other. Even in a year, we would only met once or twice, but it only lasted until my 4th or 5th semester. We became really busy. Let's say that we've got new companionship with new people, we've got new activities, we couldn't really find time to meet up anymore. But we still refer each other as bestfriends until now, though I'm not so sure if I'm still her bestfriend.

Today, I found out that three weeks ago, her boyfriend had passed away, and I just found out now. I didn't even knew she had a boyfriend. I think the distance has separate us even further than I thought and none of us made enough efforts to call each other. Small conversation on twitter doesn't count as real conversation in my opinion. 

Today, I'm crying for the fact that I wasn't there with her in her hardest moment. Losing a boyfriend, someone who is dear to you, and it's not a breakup, you're literally losing him, forever, because he's gone, he passed away. I can imagine how hurt it must be for her. It's like losing one of your important family members. And I just found out now, I'm feel like the dumbest person in the universe. I should have made more efforts to keep in touch with her. I'm feel like worst friend ever. I don't think I'm deserved the name called "friend".

But as much as I regretted it, it has passed. Lesson's learned: I still love her as my bestfriend and I always will, I shouldn't made distance as an excuse to stop communicating with people, especially to those who are very special to me. I should have never left them behind. And I promise I'll fix this, I'll cherish her and everyone who is special to me more than ever. 

They said you shouldn't depend your happiness on other people, but I think our happiness, no matter what, is put in other people's happiness too, in a good way. I mean, I get really sad when my precious people are sad, but when I see them happy, I become happy too. This does not meant to our closest people only, but when you do something to help others, somewhere in your heart will filled with joy. So, why don't we try to do that, start from our closest people?

We can't reverse the time, but we can create the better future, starting from now.

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