Sunday, March 2, 2014

Being a Human

I keep blaming the bullying that I got when I was kid as the reason of me become such a mellow person. I think the truth is I'm just too afraid to open up and make peace with my life. I feel insecure and weak, yet I don't want to show it to everyone. People hate you when you're weak, so you have to be strong or at least pretend to be strong until you forget that you're pretending. People hate it when you become insecure, rather than sympathize you, they'd think that you don't deserve their attention, especially your emo side. Well, I really am trying to be a strong and independent person, but sometimes it's too exhausting to be strong. Sometimes you just need a place to rest your mind and heart, but even just a media to write down your feeling will be a place for people to judge you. I don't know, but I always need twitter/tumblr/blogspot to pour my stress out, but some people, and sadly, those whom I called friends, think that it's immature to be sad. Though I can control what I write, but for some people, an act of insecurity, no matter how small, is just a waste of time. 

Do I even have to apologize for being a human? For having feelings? For being tired sometimes? The all time preachment said we should never care to what others say because this is our lives anyway. I actually don't give a damn about it, but it's kinda hurtful when someone you expect would accept you the way you are, do the opposite. And that's why we should never expect anything from human.

Lesson's learned! :") We can't please other people and we don't live in this life to follow what others want us to do. We have the right to decide it ourselves. It's our freedom to spill our mind out, and the most important thing is to be someone that we feel most comfortable, without forgetting the value of being a human.

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