Friday, March 28, 2014

True Friend is...

Ever since I lost my cellphone (Blackberry), I lost contact with a lot of people including those who refer themselves as my good friends (and naively, I believed them). It makes me think, do I must have a Smartphone so people will keep in touch with me? Will they ever make an effort to contact me through something else other than cellphone? I am no longer using BBM / Whatsapp and or such social media applications because I haven't have a chance to buy a new phone yet. These days, people are so dependent to technology and especially the internet and social media. 

Actually, this shows who's the true friend is: 

Those who actually give a damn about me at least do something to keep in touch with me, like through twitter / dm / facebook / text messages and even come to my house. Well, if you really think that someone's existence is important, you will always find a way to stay in touch with them. Although only few people who actually make an effort to contact me, but I swear they are more than enough. I swear I'll treat them 2 times better than they already did to me. It's in my nature, you gave me one love, I'll return to you a hundred of love amd affections. Simply because I don't always have a good friend, so when I found one, I'll cherish them with all my heart~

Thursday, March 20, 2014


Adalah saat kita merasa Allah saja cukuplah sebagai pembalas kebaikan.

Tanpa perlu diungkapkan, Allah tahu mereka yang sungguh-sungguh.

Satu hal itu saja, maka kebahagiaan akan datang dengan sendirianya.

Karena apresiasi terbaik adalah dari Allah. Sesuatu yang tak bisa kita lihat
namun sudah pasti akan kita rasakan.

Semoga kita dianugerahi sifat ikhlas dalam melakukan apapun.
Lelah dan gundah biarlah Allah yang menyembuhkan.

Sunday, March 9, 2014

Me Time

Today was the day that I think I need to cherish. No, there's no big things happened. In fact, I spent today all by myself but in quite odd way. First, in the morning, I went to Hospital with the Hero of my life to check up his health, then while he seen the Doctor, I went around the building alone and ended up in a baby room. It felt magical to see those newborn babies. :")

After that, I went to this certain place where there's one tree filled with unknown fruits. Dad said he had to pick those fruits for his friend. It's amazing how Dad is willing to do that much for the sake of his friend. I mean, the tree is quite high and I didn't even know that the fruits are exist and can be eaten, lol. The thing he always teach me is a real action. Do something real to make other people happy no matter how small it is, like picking some fruits for them or visit his place no matter how far it is. Friendship and relationship isn't about telling good words, but help them do something to make everything goes well.

So, after this very awesome quality talk with Dad, he asked me if I want to go somewhere; I said I need a place to be alone, maybe I need to go to college so I can enjoy some quality time in choir room. He said okay, and he dropped me there. He didn't ask or force me to go home with him. Seems like he understands that her daughter needs the time on her own. So, I went to choir room and there was nobody in it, unlike usual. Well, it's normal. It's Sunday, people are supposed to be home or somewhere else, not college, lol.

I've already prepared with laptop, headset, and jacket. I spent the rest of the day in choir room alone, all by myself, watching movie, karaoke, write some personal stuffs, and time flies before my eyes. The night came and I know I shouldn't stay any longer (it was quite scary actually, lol), but since I still didn't feel like going home, I decided to take a little detour with TransJakarta. It was refreshing, I don't know where I went, but I enjoyed watching the scenery along the road while my mind went anywhere. Surprisingly, I didn't feel lonely or sad. I just felt calm and peace. Before I realize, it's already 9 pm, so I decided to go home. 

This long detour and my alone time really made me think a lot and talk a lot to Him too. I came to many realization about my life, and suddenly I got this positive energy to get everything done perfectly. Maybe, every person needs to be alone sometimes, not because they're lonely, but because they need to reset feelings and hang out with themselves, lol.

Anyway, have a nice Sunday.

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

The Most Painful Thing

The most painful thing is knowing that you're not worth it anymore.
The most painful thing is being erased from someone's life.
The most painful thing is keeping all the pains alone.
The most painful thing is losing your precious people.

Then, you don't know how to move on with your life. Life goes on. Your activity continues. You're still walking towards the future, but your heart stuck in the same place for uncertain time.

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Hal yang Lebih Berharga dari Materi

Terkadang, kita terdorong untuk mengambil keputusan dalam kondisi hati terburuk kita.
Padahal, kita hanya perlu menunggu untuk lebih tenang untuk kembali ke kondisi yang baik dan mengambil keputusan yang lebih bijaksana

Terkadang, kita merasa tidak diterima di suatu tempat 
Padahal kita hanya lupa beradaptasi kembali.

Terkadang, kita lupa dengan suatu kenyaman akan kebersamaan karena sebuah absen yang panjang.
Padahal, persahabatan sejati tak terkikis oleh jarak ataupun waktu.

Terkadang, kita menilai teman kita sendiri adalah manusia terburuk di dunia hanya karena sebuah kesalahan sederhana.
Padahal, kita tau ia telah melakukan ribuan kebaikan lainnya, tapi terfokus pada keburukannya.

Terkadang, kita terlalu takut untuk memulai kembali karena merasa terintimidasi oleh rasa tidak percaya diri. 
Padahal, belum tentu orang-orang peduli dengan apa yang kita lakukan.
Semua itu hanyalah kendali dari musuh terbesar manusia: syaitan. Betapa senangnya ia melihat kita menderita, merana.

Pada kenyataannya, semua kenegatifan yang kita rasakan mengelilingi diri kita asal muasalnya ya dari diri kita sendiri. Terkadang kita membiarkan diri terlalu larut di dalamnya hingga merasa terbuai dan menikmati rasa sakit hati dan kesendirian itu, kemudian menyalahkan dunia atas penderitaan yang kita ciptakan sendiri. Padahal kita hanya lupa untuk melihat ke sisi yang lain dan membuka hati kita terhadap berbagai hal. Kita manusia biasa, satu-satunya senjata terhebat kita adalah doa; kita harus selalu memohon pertolongan agar senantiasa diingatkan oleh-Nya ketika kita lalai dan hati kita mulai lemah.

Mungkin kita membutuhkan orang lain untuk menjadi pengingat kita sebagai perantara pertolongan dari Yang Maha Kuasa. Yang bisa kita minta dari Allah bukan hanya rejeki, tetapi juga perlindungan hati dari berbagai kenegatifan. Bukan hanya materi, tapi jiwa yang senantiasa dilindungi dan dibangkitkan ketika terjatuh. Melebihi apapun di dunia, jiwa yang tenang dan kesadaran untuk selalu mengevaluasi diri adalah hal terbaik yang bisa dimiliki manusia. Semoga Allah senantiasa mengingatkan Saya dan kita semua, karena tanpa-Nya, saya timpang dan hilang arah. Semoga Allah senantiasa memberikan petunjuk dan mengembalikan saya ke jalan yang lurus dan membantu saya bangkit ketika saya mulai lelah dan menyerah.


Sunday, March 2, 2014

Being a Human

I keep blaming the bullying that I got when I was kid as the reason of me become such a mellow person. I think the truth is I'm just too afraid to open up and make peace with my life. I feel insecure and weak, yet I don't want to show it to everyone. People hate you when you're weak, so you have to be strong or at least pretend to be strong until you forget that you're pretending. People hate it when you become insecure, rather than sympathize you, they'd think that you don't deserve their attention, especially your emo side. Well, I really am trying to be a strong and independent person, but sometimes it's too exhausting to be strong. Sometimes you just need a place to rest your mind and heart, but even just a media to write down your feeling will be a place for people to judge you. I don't know, but I always need twitter/tumblr/blogspot to pour my stress out, but some people, and sadly, those whom I called friends, think that it's immature to be sad. Though I can control what I write, but for some people, an act of insecurity, no matter how small, is just a waste of time. 

Do I even have to apologize for being a human? For having feelings? For being tired sometimes? The all time preachment said we should never care to what others say because this is our lives anyway. I actually don't give a damn about it, but it's kinda hurtful when someone you expect would accept you the way you are, do the opposite. And that's why we should never expect anything from human.

Lesson's learned! :") We can't please other people and we don't live in this life to follow what others want us to do. We have the right to decide it ourselves. It's our freedom to spill our mind out, and the most important thing is to be someone that we feel most comfortable, without forgetting the value of being a human.