Friday, January 31, 2014


Believe in yourself. Look for chances. Grab your dreams. Who said that having a hectic life would make you miserable? In my case, having a busy life is a gift, although sometimes I miss my solitude time, but having people around you is actually not that bad. Hmm... does the introvert girl start to change to be a bit extrovert? Yeah, maybe. Everyone has two sides, right, it's our choices which side we would like to show and enjoy. While I'm still an introvert, I learned to be a bit more social and open to people, at least to those who have been such a great friend for us. We only have one life to live in this blissful world, why don't we enjoy it to the fullest and make the best out of it? The journey is long but the view is great!

Life is like a movie, but the story is much better because God wrote it Himself. We as the actors have to play it brilliantly. 

Saturday, January 18, 2014

Brain VS Heart

She's a secret admirer
She is a best friend
She loves in silence
She pays attention over the little things he does
She makes sure he is fine every day
She keeps her eyes on him without him noticing

She questions herself everyday
When to give up?
How to give up?
She told herself again and again
It's time to give up

So, she decided to give up
But it's not as easy as what her brain told her to
As her heart keeps screaming out his name

"Oh, it's just a matter of time,"

But as the time goes by
The feeling still has not leave her yet

It's pointless, just give up
He doesn't even care...

Don't give up just yet...
Love is not about being returned.
It's about sincerity..
You don't have to stop loving him

Screw that! Sincerity?
Is sincerity mean hurting yourself?
It's just an excuse that your heart makes
If love don't get returned, find another one
Who will treat you better, not bitter.

Oh, shut up brain. You only think about logic
Love is not about finding a perfect person
It's about embracing the imperfection

He doesn't care. That reason alone is enough
You've gotta move on with your life

Have you really ask him how he really feel?

His action speaks louder than words
You're too naive and put your hopes up in the sky
What has he done that make you so sure?
I answer that: nothing

We should never judge if he never really says anything about it

That's why we judged, because he never do anything
Have you lost your mind and can't tell it?
Oh, I forgot. You're a heart
You don't think, you only feel what you want to feel

Ugh! It's pointless to debate with a stubborn like you
But no matter how many times you tried to put the logic above everything
As long as the heart still believes
Nothing is going to change about her feeling

And the girl finally decided to sleep and shut her brain and heart down for a while. 

Friday, January 17, 2014

You Think You're The Saddest Person in the World?

Everyone has trouble

People in Iran, Syria, Palestine, they can never sleep without worrying if they're going to be alive the next day. They keep hearing the sound of explosion and people keep dying in front of them.

Should we experience the same problem to feel them and to help them? 

The flood seems to be worse than last year in Indonesia this year. Many people have to be evacuated to different places. Imagine how uncomfortable it is to sleep in strange place with a lot of people, without your warm bed and TV and gadgets.

Should we experience the same problem to feel them and help them?

There are thousands, even million people who suffered from severe disease such as AIDS, Cancer, Tumor, etc... They spend most of their lives in bed, in hospital.

If you think you are the saddest person in the world, think again. Think harder.
How many blessings have you received today? Don't count the big ones but start from the small ones.

You're still given a chance to wake up and live and healthy in your bed today? Alhamdulillah
You still have rice to eat today? Alhamdulillah
You still have your home and bed and family? Alhamdulillah
You still have friends who never stop caring? Alhamdulillah
You still have hands and legs and eyes, perfect body? Alhamdulillah
You can add the list by yourself....... I believe they are uncountable.

Without Allah's mercy, those people in Iran, Syria, and Palestine would have all died and given up with their lives, but they didn't. They have faith that Allah alone is enough to comfort them, so they get up and with everything they got, they protect whatever has left for them. They're staying strong. So why we're staying weak?

Without Allah's mercy, the victims of the flood would have lost everything, they wouldn't have had any place to protect them from the cold, people wouldn't care with them, but Allah protected them. Allah moves people's hearts and give them a sense of helping, so we helped them and give them hope.

Without Allah's mercy, those million people who suffered from severe disease would have given up, but even in the moment when they think that nothing else matters except dying, they keep struggling to stay alive and live their lives. So, why don't we live our lives to the fullest while we have perfect and healthy body?

You think you're the saddest person in the World? Think again. And again. Think harder. 
Have you do something beneficial for others today? It will make you happy :)
Have you give a seat to an old man in the bus today? It will make you happy :)
Have you help your friends and make sure s/he's happy today? It will make you happy :)
Have you being thankful for the small blessing you received today? It will make you happy :)

Every test makes us bitter or better. Every problem comes to make us or break us. Choice is ours, whether we become victim or victorious.

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Welcome Back, Strong Fighter!

I might be an emo person, but contrary to this character, I'm a perfectionist person, and when I'm optimistic about something, I will not let anyone drag me down to their level of sadness. NO! And this makes me realized, I loathe people who like to complain about their work, and that makes me feel like an idiot for complaining a lot in social media. I'm a perfectionist person, and also a sanguin-plegmatic. Once my perfectionist and sanguin sides taking control of me, no one can stop me from working hard to reach my goal.

We're an adult now, right? There is no way we can only sit and wait for someone to lend a helping hand. We have to get up and help ourselves. Feeling lonely, huh? Well, life goes on. I still feel lonely a lot, but I don't let it hold me from doing productive things. Not anymore. The longer I stay in my comfort zone, the more I'd think that life treats me bad and I probably would think that I'm the most miserable person in the world, but you know what? I'm not. 

I know I'm feeling blue and sad over pointless things a lot, but I won't let it get in my way to have a life. You should too. You think I'd feel sympathy when you complain about things? Has it ever crossed your mind that everyone has problem? If you refused to be stronger, then no one can help you besides yourself. If you choose to lock yourself in a room of sadness, I'm not staying with you. I'm moving on. I'll get my own happiness without depending on anyone. I would take challenges in front of me. I'm gonna live my life to the fullest like I always did before. 

I'm going back to be a strong fighter. I'm not gonna lose.

Friday, January 3, 2014

The Other Side

Everyone has two sides about themselves, right? The good one and the bad one. Staying awake every night sometimes help me figure out things about myself, while talking to my doll, Teddy, about random things, I came to realized that I actually have this creepy, criminal, dangerous, mean thoughts that I never show to anyone. Heck, if people could read mind, I don't think they'll stay close to me more than 5 minutes. They'll freak out immediately. 

This double life I lead isn't healthy for me, Jason Mraz said, but I can't help it. The only way to release those thoughts is by being sarcastic or being a very quiet person, and I've been holding it for long, because the only thing that keeps me from shouting shits to people is the fact that the good side of me told me that I shouldn't hurt anyone's feeling. But still, realizing that I have these kind of crazy, awful thoughts in my mind make me realized that I probably don't deserve anyone's affection. Especially from people who love me now.

I feel like I don't want to drag them into my life because it's too awful and I don't think there's anyone who would ever be able to put up with my stubbornness, furthermore, the other side of me. The more I grow up, the more I realize that society will always judge me, including my family and friends. Heck! Can't I live freely, outside of those people's whispers and backtalk? Back in highschool, I was this bad little chick who always skipped classes and did all the bad things, then my friends accepted me with all the pain I brought, they accepted me in my darkest hours. But the best thing about them is they didn't try to stop me when I decided to find the light by myself. They don't judge me in my lowest point and they support me in my brightest moment.

I can be so negative at unexpected moments and I don't think anyone can stick with it. While trying so hard to lift up to people's expectation, be a good girl for my parents, I get tired and BAM!! The crazy thoughts start surrounding my head. I can't let anyone live with this wild woman, I would hurt them. They don't deserve an emo, ridiculous, sensitive girl like me. I really think I should pull myself away from people slowly, because I'm afraid I'd harm them. 

I think I should be friend with solitude. And seriously... "I find it hard to believe that there's someone out there that would be able to spend the rest of their life with me.." -@autocorrects