Monday, December 30, 2013

Meski Kita Tak Kenal, Aku Kehilangan

Assalamualaikum. Wr. Wb.

Begitu ajaib bagaimana semesta menghubungkan orang satu dengan orang lainnya, dan menciptakan perasaan sayang dari hati kepada sosok satu dengan lainnya. Seperti yang aku rasakan untuk penyanyi Nasyid itu, Kang Deden... bukan tipikal penggemar wanita kepada idolanya seperti kebanyakan fangirls kepada artis Korea. Aku bukan penggemar berat, hanya dua lagu yang aku tahu dari Band Nasyid Edcoustic:

1. Sebiru Hari Ini
2. Aku Ingin Mencintai-Mu

Yang istimewa bukan hubunganku dengan mereka. Yang istimewa adalah yang menghubungkanku dengan mereka. Adalah Mabit Nurul Fikri yang mengenalkan aku dengan dua lagu ini, lagu yang kemudian menjadi pengingat akan ukhuwah yang kumiliki bersama Mabiters saat itu dan bagaimana perjuangan yang kami lalui bersama, serta perpisahan yang siap menunggu kami di depan mata. Lagu yang mengingatkanku untuk selalu kembali kepada Allah setiap kali aku kehilangan arah. Betapa besar makna lagu-lagu tersebut dan cerita di baliknya bagiku sehingga kudengarkan berkali-kali. Lalu, tiba-tiba ku dengar kabar bahwa si pelantun lagu hidupku itu baru saja berpulang. Entah bagaimana, ada kehilangan dan kesedihan dalam diriku. Padahal aku tak kenal Kang Deden, si vokalis itu. Aku tak juga ngefans seperti layaknya gadis-gadis pada idolanya. Aku hanya senang mendengarkan dua lagu yang dinyanyikannya karena cerita di baliknya. Tapi, rasa sedih itu entah kenapa tetap ada. Aneh sekali bukan, semesta ini seolah ingin mengajak semua orang mengingat bahwa salah satu sosok yang mulia itu telah kembali pulang, dan kami harus berdoa untuknya. Seolah semesta mengajak kami menangis bersama-sama, meski kami tidak kenal, tapi kehilangan itu ada entah bagaimana caranya.

Semoga Kang Deden ditempatkan di sisi terbaik Allah SWT. Suara merdu nan menyejukkan hati itu akan terus menemani kami semua sambil menunggu gilirannya pulang. Bukan hanya sekedar nyanyian, tapi juga bentuk dakwah. Nyanyianmu menyentuh hati banyak orang. Selamat jalan, Kang Deden.


Jangan lupa mengirimkan Al-Fatihah untuk Beliau

Wassalamualaikum. Wr. Wb.


Tuesday, December 24, 2013

I'll Blame Me

I'm afraid that 'mine' is too strong
I've been in this place and I always know 
I'm such a terrible lover
Because I'll love perfectly, completely, wholeheartedly
Isn't that too much to take?
Wouldn't it become a burden when it's too strong for you?
And that strong feeling hurts me too much too
Because it makes me fragile for every simple reasons
I worried too much, I expect too much, and I will miss too much?
Wouldn't that be too much for you to take too?
Can anyone teach me how to control feelings?
Because mine is overflowing and I don't know how to stop it
Not that I want to stop loving
I'm just afraid that too much feeling will hurt my precious one
Tell me how to soothe this burning emotion

In the end, if I ever get hurt
It's not you whom I would blame
It's me and my own stupidity
It's me who let myself burned in my own fire
It's me who let myself falling without parachute
It's me who let myself consumed by that strong feeling
If I ever get hurt, it would be nobody's fault but me

PS: I drank too much coffee and my mind started exaggerating things. Before I realized it, I've wrote these in my cellphone. Random brain as always, but I shouldn't let these writing disappear without trace just because I wrote it without having my full sense with me. So, note this in your mind who ever read it: It's just a fictional writing. I repeat, FICTIONAL WRITING! Which means, it's not what I'm really feeling since I wrote it when I was feeling sleepy and hungry and my mind just went insane :P

Sunday, December 22, 2013

The Reason to Keep Going

Assalamualaikum. Wr. Wb.

Right now, everyone around my age / semester / year in college is busy starting their final thesis to graduate. Whereas I'm still here, having the time of my own, still busy doing choir and mabit stuffs. Some people asked me, have I ever get bored doing the same things for these past few years? The answer is NO, I never get bored. Choir is the reason why I'm still coming to college, while Mabit is the thing that keeps me from drop myself out of college because it reminds me of how much I struggled to get university. Everyone is so eager to graduate from college while I'm here all alone, having my own dilemma. I've been in my 7th semester. Mom keeps saying that I should graduate next year, but the thing is... I don't know what am I doing. I've tried to find reason to continue studying the thing I never really interested, but as the time passed, I keep getting this feeling that what I'm doing is useless. I can't find any reason besides my Mom's order to go to college, get some diploma, and graduate soon, so the society will accept me. 

Well... does everyone go to college to get people recognize them, accept them, label them? Is it about judgement? Lucky them who actually get the chance to study the things they really want and like. A moment of silence for someone like me who need more extra reasons and courage to keep coming to college. I should be grateful, shouldn't I? And I am grateful, with my friends and organization, but not with my studying. But no matter what happen, I can't stop now, I'll try to graduate, not as soon as my Mom expect me to be, but soon. My brother said that I should enjoy college while it's last, either its classes or organization, so when I'm finally leaving, I can look back with no regrets. If I can't like what I'm studying, at least I can love what I'm doing while I'm here, and produce something. So, good luck to you who's struggling for your final thesis. Wish me luck too! :")

Anyway.... I don't need to graduate to wear those awesome uniforms, lol. I already tasted the feel of wearing these costumes. It felt hot actually, but it does make you look cooler haha.


Wassalamualaikum. Wr. Wb.

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Blooming

Hello!


Something is blooming inside me and no one can stop me from feeling this happy.
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