Monday, October 22, 2012

I Think I Better Shut Up

Assalamualaikum. Wr. Wb.

I hate being too honest to certain people. I hate how I can't control my words when I'm with them. At the end of the day, I realized that silence is gold. Being the spotlight, center of attention, I loathe them all. Knowing that you're being talked by people you trust, let me tell you how it feels: worst.

I couldn't came up with good phrases or words when arguing or debating with people, so I'd better shut up. Or maybe I'm just too afraid to speak up. I'm not afraid with the people, I'm afraid with the effect of the words I'm going to say. The past taught me worst lessons about it. You ask me again why am I become an ansos, why am I so quiet? Hahaha . :')

I could only think it and write it down. When I'm in a forum, I decided to stay quiet, but honestly, my mind is full with a lot of things. I just don't know how to speak it out. All I can do is writing this unimportant post and hiding behind it. My melancholic side becomes strong right now and honestly I hate that part of me.

All I need to do is taking a break and meditation to refresh my heart and mind. Meeting up with some old friends will help, I guess. I'm going to be fine. Btw, I love my ansos genk so much. I feel like we understand each other about the simplest things. We almost always have the same thoughts toward things. We're maybe immature. We're naive. We have our own little world that can be understood by us only :')

Wassalamualaikum. Wr. Wb.

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