Thursday, January 11, 2018


How the hell am I supposed to carry on? I swear I've tried and thought of many ways, but I ran out of ideas. I can't ask for their help anymore because I haven't even return what they gave before. I can't even ask for my family to help because they are also at their limit for now. Just when I thought the door to that special day has finally open, I got stuck here for the same reason: money. How many times this happened already? I swear this financial problem could drive us really crazy, I started to understand more why so many people give up their life.

But I can't give up, no matter how much I want to, because it will cause disappointment again to my important people. But I still don't know how to get out of this money crisis. Heck, I even try to look for a place to sell my kidney. I can't help but keep getting angry at him and my anger seemed to have transformed into hatred, slowly. Eventhough I know it was wrong, I can't help to feel that way.


Wednesday, January 10, 2018

I Don't Care!


I don't want to be bothered by people's opinions about being oversharing anymore. I will share my trauma, I will share my anxieties, and I will share my worries so I will feel relieved. That way, I also realized that the ones who will give you comfort are not the ones you expected. Sometimes, they are friend who you've lost contact with for a long time. Sometimes it's a stranger, but to my surprise, it was rarely from people I expected. That makes me realized, maybe this relationship isn't as deep as I thought it is. Maybe the time we spent so much together were only last for that very day and doesn't mean anything, so when you feel this down, they couldn't careless. That's why, I will keep sharing, because that way I can see who truly cared, who truly concern, and who just be there for some fun. And the worst thing that could happen is when no one is actually care. That's okay too, because it means you are free to share what you want since it's just you and yourself. Why bothered by people who said that you should keep your problems to yourself? Nah, they just probably never had so much anxieties inside them that they think it's an easy thing to keep within yourself.

Tuesday, January 2, 2018

2017 in Review

Assalamualaikum. Wr. Wb.

2017 ended in a blink of an eye. At least for me. Oh well, I was sleeping during the new year's eve and when I woke up, all the fireworks and new year's hype has been long gone πŸ˜‚ 2017 was ordinary, I wasn't sure what to feel about it. The thing that I realized is I'm getting bored with my life and I don't feel excited towards anything anymore, which really is sad because I felt empty. When you felt this much emptiness, you began to lose yourself. Even so, there were quite big moments that made my long boring life became a little less boring too and I'd like to write them here.

Maximphonia and National Folklore Festival 2017
Some of PSM UIN Jakarta Alumni decided to form an independent choir and we named it Maximphonia. We formed Maximphonia for those who are no longer able to join PSM UIN rehearsal due to their busy schedules at work and only have free time during weekend. So, the members who joined are those who have been absent from choir for a long time, which means we have to start from scratch and learn how to sing choir from the beginning again. We also decided to join National Folklore Festival 2017 at Faculty of Economy at University of Indonesia in March and I was assigned as treasurer. We ranked 6th out of 18 choirs which is great, since we actually prepared this competition by ourselves without professional coach or professional arranger. We truly joined the competition to bring back all the good feelings about singing in choir and I dare to say we accomplished our goals. We truly had fun throughout the process and we never felt that relaxed during competition before ❤

I Passed My Undergraduate Thesis Defense
Well, after 7 years (yes, you read it correctly, 7 YEARS!) of college, I was finally able to finish my SKRIPSI and did my Undergraduate Thesis Defense in July. It was quite a hectic day, my lecturer gave me the wrong schedule so I ended up late and we had to rush preparing the foods and everything. Luckily, my examiners were willing to wait and didn't show any sign of annoyance (special treat for final year student I guess πŸ˜‚). The thesis defense went for only 45 minutes on my part and I was able to give them satisfying answers and results despite of the fact that I was super nervous. Well, how can't I? After such miscommunication, I thought they will cancel my thesis defense and change it to another day πŸ˜… Thanks to such kind examiner, I was able to enjoy it and get a good grade for my SKRIPSI. Some of my friends also came to support me although I only informed them about the defense that very morning to ask for prayers. Julian, Putri (who brought me a really huge flowers bouquet ❤), Wicak (who brought me flowers and support from Bayu who couldn't come), Aulia (who brought me my favorite Good Day coffee with Iqbal's support as well), and Mella (who also brought me Good Day πŸ˜ƒ). And of course Diah, Amel, Wardah, who helped me a lot during the process. They are the biggest part of this SKRIPSI and without them, I might have given up college a long time ago. Thank you!

Additional Singer for Bianglala Voices
It was not the first time for me to be an additional singer for Bianglala Voices, a vocal group of adult singers whose members are also my seniors in PSM UIN and my choir coach, Bu Tanti and Om Freddy. Bu Tanti always give me chances to experience new things in music fields and most of the jobs I got was all from her. I can never thank her enough for always believe in me and entrust me with such responsibility. That kind of support made me truly grateful and gave me courage because I often don't feel good about myself. 

What made this event special was because I was assigned to sing a solo part during Endah 'n Rhesa's song, When You Love Someone,  at Bianglala Voices performance at Earhouse Cafe. Earhouse is Endah and Rhesa's cafe and we got to sing in front of them. For someone like me, it was truly an amazing experience, to sing that song in front of the artists themselves was truly an honor. Om Bintang was such a strict person but he entrusted me with this solo part to surprise Endah and Rhesa, and it was successful πŸ˜‚ They really didn't expect us to perform that song for them because Om Bintang introduced it as a K-Pop song. My parents were also present at that moment and Om Bintang introduced me to the audience with such kind words and even thanked my parents for letting me join them even if it means I had to stay until midnight for rehearsal. I swear I love the look in my mother's eyes that night. Haven't seen those much stars in her since I won Writing Competition at National Championship in 2010. I can never thank Bianglala Voices enough for this experience ❤

Bandung and Padang Trip

I was able to visit many places in Indonesia this year (thanks to mudik as always) but two places that left a really special impression in me was Bandung and Padang. I visited Padang for the first time for my cousin's wedding and we had chance to sightseeing although for only one day. The best thing about Padang is the food. I swear they taste much much tastier than in Jakarta πŸ˜‚ And even now as I'm writing this, I can't help but craving for more of Padang cuisines. I got to see Jam Gadang and got permission to climb it to the rooftop with my cousins too. My cousin's father has quite huge influence and role in Padang and I'm grateful to get that special privilege because.... well, it's not every day you get the chance to get to the rooftop of Jam Gadang , right?! πŸ˜‚

Bandung Trip was special because for the first time in forever, I was able to go on a vacation with my friends, Iqbal and Erna, without parents or seniors or something like that. It was only 2 days trip but it was still memorable to me. We didn't go to any expensive places because we didn't have time, but thankfully, Ridwan Kamil has designed every spot in Bandung into a beautiful place for Instagram. So, we were able to enjoy every place we visited and went home satisfied and re-charged (and craved for more Bandung 😁

Hmm... Now that I think back to the past, this year wasn't so bad. My two best friends also get married and I took a big part in their wedding, we also had some nice little celebrations and were able to meet up way more often than before. Those were such good memories, so why do I still feel empty? Why do I feel like it was a boring year? When did it went down? Is it the fact that our family had troubles in building our new house? Is it the fact that I was unable to help much that I felt worthless? Is it a part of becoming adult? I miss being a part of something. Maybe the reason I felt this much emptiness is because I stopped singing choir. I didn't fall in love with anybody. And I kinda lost connection with some of my precious people. So, to find my happiness, I need to find or create a place where I belong. But what is it? I don't even know what I'm looking for but I truly wish I would find that thing that I lost. 

2018.... Please treat me kindly ❤

Wassalamualaikum. Wr. Wb.

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Manazashi - Honey L Days (Lyrics and English Translation)

I watched Jdrama Tumbling again few days ago and now it kinda becomes a drama that I keep repeating whenever I want to watch a good story. I remember watching it few years ago and I remember it left a great impression in me, but I don't remember why. Lately, after I finished two episodes of Jdrama Voice and Ourobros, I felt the need to watch something lighter and fun, but I don't want to watch something new because I'm afraid it will be good and I ended up can't stop it, so I picked Tumbling because I've watched it. Well, it turns out that I forgot so many things and it ended up felt new to me and I became obsessed with how great it was πŸ˜‚ 

I especially love the theme song they used because it fits the story and it fits me so well. This song speaks to me on spiritual level and that's why I have to put it here because this song truly encouraged me πŸ’š 

Listen to the song below with some awesome clips from Tumbling 😁

Artist: Honey L Days
Song Title: γΎγͺざし (Manazashi; Outlook)
Single: Manazashi
Track Number: 1
Released: 2010
Lyrics By: KYOHEI & herOism

Kudara nee to haki sutete mo
They say I'm worthless,
Kawarenai jibun ga iru
and I'm determined to never change, I am here.
Kao o agete fumidasu shikanain da
I can do nothing more than lift my head and move forward
To wakatteru kedo
I understand that though

Gomakase nai no wa kuyashisa no namida
Shedding tears of regret, I cannot lie,
Jamasase nai kara oretachi no ashita
Because our tomorrow won't be disturbed.
Tsuyoku tsuyoku takaku toberu hazu sa
Strongly, strongly, highly, I will fly,
Saidai ni jimen keri agete
Kicking off from the ground completely.

Oikakete oikakete
I'll chase, I'll chase
Hitasura ni kono yume o
this dream diligently.
Oogesa na chizu wa iranai
I don't need a big map.
Kakedashite kakedashite
Rushing, rushing,
Massugu ni michi naki michi o
I'll travel a road without a trail
Gamushara na manazashi o
with a reckless outlook,
Ashita e
towards tomorrow.

Nasake nee to iware nakute mo
They said merciless things,
Kizuiteru jibun ga ita
and I knew it, I was there.
Magetaku nai kokoro dake ga
My heart won't bend the outlook
Ashita o tsunagu manazashi
it has connected to tomorrow.

Ari no mama ikite omoishiru yowasa
Living as I realize my weaknesses,
Akirame nai koto shinji nuku koto
I won't give up, I will believe.
Tsuyoku tsuyoku takaku toberu hazu sa
Strongly, strongly, highly, I will fly,
Nando mo jimen keri agete
Kicking off from the ground repeatedly.

Oikakete oikakete
I'll chase, I'll chase
Hitasura ni kono yume o
This dream diligently.
Tomedonai kibou o mune ni
The hope in my heart is endless.
Kakedashite kakedashite
Rushing, rushing,
Massugu ni michi naki michi o
I'll travel a road without a trail,
Yuzurenai manazashi o
Never surrendering my outlook,
Ashita e
Towards tomorrow

Mayoi kurushimi sutesaru nara
If I abandon the confusing pain
Ashita wa nai kara
Because there's no tomorrow,
Tatoe donna konnan ga michi o tozashite mo
No matter what difficulties may block my path,
Itsuka wa itsuka wa mugen no sora o koete...
Someday, someday I'll cross that endless sky...

Oikakete oikakete
I'll chase, I'll chase
Hitasura ni kono yume o
This dream diligently.
Oogesa na chizu wa iranai
I don't need a big map.
kakedashite kakedashite
Rushing, rushing,
Massugu ni michi naki michi o
I'll travel a road without a trail
Gamushara na manazashi o
With a reckless outlook.

Oikakete oikakete
I'll chase, I'll chase
Hitasura ni kono yume o
This dream diligently.
Oogesa na chizu wa iranai
I don't need a big map.
Kakedashite kakedashite
Rushing, rushing,
Massugu ni michi naki michi o
I'll travel a road without a trail
Gamushara na manazashi o
With a reckless outlook,
Ashita e
Towards tomorrow.

English Translation by

Monday, December 11, 2017

My Asian Drama List

Here's the new updated list of my Asian Drama / Movie list (Japan, Korea, Taiwan) with my rating on each of them. I also link some titles to my personal review in case you're interested. Maybe it could help you find a good drama to watch in your spare time.

5 ❤s : It's a drama I can watch over and over again because it won me over with its story, casts, soundtrack, and everything.
4 ❤s : The drama was thoroughly entertaining and great but lack just one or two things, for example: it will be better with one more episode, or with more character development for one certain character. Or for some suspense / psychology drama, it could have added a bit more happiness and lessen the darkness a bit πŸ˜‚
3 ❤s : The drama was enjoyable but that's it. I will probably repeat in once or twice in the future when I have nothing to do and too lazy to find new titles πŸ˜‚
2s : The drama was average or fine, but not a kind of drama I will remember. There's potential that it will get better, but I usually ended up disappointed 😌
1 ❤ : It's just bad. The only reason I finished it was probably because I like the casts but I probably skip a lot of things πŸ˜“

Currently Watching:
Voice (Jdrama) - This was recommended by my friend, Adhya. I've only getting started, but I already like the mystery plot in it. I never like blood but I don't know why, I always enjoyed suspense drama πŸ˜‚
Okitegami Kyoko no Biboroku - Another detective drama, this time it's about a female detective who has weird illness, she will forget everything the next day after she wakes up (like 500 First Date) so she has to solve the case in one day. It has some romance too and Masaki Okada and Yui Aragaki look beautiful together πŸ˜…

Finished Japanese Drama
Comedy Romance:

Hana Yori Dango 1 - ❤❤❤❤❤
Hana Yori Dango 2 - ❤❤❤❤❤
Nodame Cantabile - ❤❤❤❤
Share House no Koibito - ❤❤
Switch Girl 1 & 2 - ❤❤❤❤
Hanazakari no Kimitachi E (2007) - ❤❤❤❤❤
Itazura Na Kiss 1996 - ❤❤❤
Yamada-kun and The 7 Witches - ❤❤❤
Ikemen Desu Ne - ❤❤❤❤
5-Ji Kara 9-Ji Made - ❤❤❤❤
Hungry! ❤❤❤
Mei-chan no Shitsuji - ❤❤❤
Lovely Complex (SP) - ❤❤❤
Otomen - ❤❤❤

Heartwarming Romance:

Proposal Daisakusen - ❤❤❤❤❤
Rich Man, Poor Woman - ❤❤❤❤
Sprout - ❤❤❤
Natsu no Koi wa Nijiiro ni Kagayaku - ❤❤❤
Zenkai Girl - ❤❤❤❤❤
Smile - ❤❤
MARS - Tada, Kimi wo Aishiteru - ❤❤❤
Kimi wa Petto - ❤❤❤

(Absurd) Comedy:

Ouran High School Host Club - ❤❤❤❤
Atashinchi no Danshi - ❤❤❤❤❤
Yamada Taro Monogatari - ❤❤❤
My Boss My Hero - ❤❤❤❤
Risou no Musuko - ❤❤❤
Samurai Sensei - ❤❤❤❤

School / Friendship :

Gakkou no Kaidan - ❤❤❤
Nobuta wo Produce - ❤❤❤❤❤
Suikyuu Yankees - ❤❤❤❤
Hammer Session - ❤❤❤
Tumbling - ❤❤❤❤❤
Kinpachi Sensei Season 7 - ❤❤❤❤❤
Kinpachi Sensei SP Final - ❤❤❤❤
Jigoku Sensei wo Nube - ❤❤❤
Dragon Sakura - ❤❤❤❤❤
Gokusen - ❤❤❤❤❤
Gokusen SP : Yankumi's Tearful Graduation - ❤❤❤❤❤ 
Gokusen 2 - ❤❤❤
Gokusen 3 - ❤❤❤❤
Gokusen 3 SP : Graduation Special - ❤❤❤❤
35-Sai no Koukousei - ❤❤
Great Teacher Onizuka 2012 - ❤❤❤
Scrap Teacher - ❤❤❤
Stand Up! - ❤❤
Shiritsu Bakaleya Koukou - ❤❤
Samurai High - ❤❤❤

Illness / Tragedy / Family:

One Litre of Tears - ❤❤❤❤❤
Algernon ni Hanabata - ❤❤❤❤
Boku no Ita Jikan - ❤❤❤❤❤
Taiyou no Uta - ❤❤❤❤
My Girl - ❤❤❤
Saikou no Jinsei no Owarikata - ❤❤❤

Suspense / Mystery / Psychology / Detective:

Kurosagi - ❤❤❤
Houkago wa Mystery to Tomo ni - ❤❤❤
Saki - ❤❤❤❤
Last Friends - ❤❤❤❤❤
Hidarime Tantei EYE SP - ❤❤❤
Hidarime Tantei EYE - ❤❤❤❤
Orthros no Inu - ❤❤❤❤
Tantei Gakuen Q - ❤❤❤❤❤
Deka Wanko - ❤❤❤
Death Note 2015 - ❤❤❤❤
Kindaichi Shonen no Jikenbo - Lost in Kowloon (SP) - ❤❤❤
Kindaichi Shonen no Jikenbo - Gokumon Juku Satsujin Jiken (SP) - ❤❤❤
Kindaichi Shonen no Jikenbo NEO - ❤❤❤❤
Detective Conan - Shinichi Kudo's Written Challenge (SP) - ❤❤❤❤
Detective Conan - Shinichi Kudo Returns: Showdown with The Black Organisation (SP) - ❤❤❤
Detective Conan - Shinichi Kudo: The Mystery of Legendary Strange Bird (SP) - ❤❤❤
Detective Conan - Shinichi Kudo and the Kyoto Shinshengumi Murder Case (SP) - ❤❤❤❤
Detective Conan - Shinichi Kudo's Written Challenge (TV Series) - ❤❤❤
Cain and Abel - ❤❤❤
Toshi Densetsu no Onna 1 & 2 - ❤❤❤

Finished Korean Drama:

Full House - ❤❤❤
Princess Hours - ❤❤❤❤
Prince Hours - ❤❤❤
You're Beautiful - ❤❤❤
Descendants of the Sun - ❤❤❤❤❤
Sassy Girl Chun-Hyang - ❤❤❤❤❤
My Girl - ❤❤❤
Coffee Prince - ❤❤❤
Boys Before Flowers - ❤❤
Playful Kiss - ❤❤
Endless Love - ❤❤❤❤❤
Winter Sonata - ❤❤❤
My Love From the Star - ❤❤❤❤❤
Hotelier - ❤❤❤

Finished Taiwan Drama

Meteor Garden 1 - ❤❤❤❤
Meteor Garden 2 - ❤❤
Meteor Rain - Xi Men's Story - ❤❤❤❤
Marmalade Boy - ❤❤❤
Devil Beside You - ❤❤❤❤❤
MARS - ❤❤❤❤❤
100% Senorita - ❤❤❤❤
It Started with a Kiss- ❤❤❤
They Kissed Again - ❤❤❤
The Magicians of Love - ❤❤❤
At the Dolphin Bay - ❤❤❤
Silence - ❤❤❤


Isshuukan Friends / One Week Friends - ❤❤❤❤❤
Raintree no Kuni - ❤❤❤❤❤
Pink and Gray - ❤❤❤❤
P to JK - ❤❤
Kimi ni Todoke - ❤❤❤❤
Gokusen the Movie - ❤❤❤❤
Hana Yori Dango Final - ❤❤❤❤
One Litre of Tears - ❤❤❤❤
Assasination Classroom Live Action - ❤❤❤
Attack on Titan Live Action - ❤❤
Koizora - ❤❤❤❤
MARS - Tada, Kimi wo Aishiteru Final - ❤❤❤❤
Peach Girl - ❤❤❤
Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac - ❤❤❤❤❤
Kinkyori Renai - ❤❤❤
Kurosaki-kun no Iinari ni Nante Naranai - ❤❤❤
Our Meal For Tomorrow - ❤❤❤
Ouran High School Host Club The Movie - ❤❤❤
Sukiite Ii Nayo - ❤❤
Tokyo Ghoul Live Action - ❤❤❤❤
Gintama Live Action - ❤❤❤❤
Harmony (Korean Movie) - ❤❤❤❤❤

Well, apparently I've watched so many Asian dramas since I was a kid, and I haven't even count the anime, and yet there are people who watch even more dramas than me πŸ˜‚ Anyway, no drama got 1 ❤, not sure if it's because I'm too nice to rate them that low, but I think that's because no matter how bad an Asian drama is, I can always find something that I learn from each episode, especially Japanese drama. Even the most boring Jdrama I watched can actually taught me a lesson about real life which we all can relate to.

Oh well, maybe I'm just bias with Asian drama πŸ˜‚

Monday, November 27, 2017

Orang yang Berharga

Assalamualaikum. Wr. Wb.

Ada masa dimana aku begitu terpesona dengan kata sahabat. Kemudian, entah karena terpengaruh kisah di film atau novel, aku merasa bahwa sahabat itu adalah orang-orang tertentu yang paling memahami diriku dan setia mengiringiku dalam sulit dan senangku. Lalu, aku memasuki masa dimana aku tak lagi mempercayai kata sahabat. Itu adalah masa tersuram, aku begitu tersesat dan membenci segala hal. 

Tak ada yang perduli. Tak ada yang mengerti. Tak ada yang bersedia memahami. Aku hanya sendirian di dunia ini.

Begitu besarnya kesedihan menutupi hatiku, aku tak mampu melihat kebaikan orang-orang di sekitarku. Seiring berjalannya waktu, aku sadar, 'sahabat' itu hanyalah label yang kita berikan kepada orang-orang tertentu yang juga harus memberikan label yang sama pada diri kita. Mungkin karena itu juga, aku beberapa kali merasa kecewa.

Bukankah dia sahabatku? Kenapa dia tidak peka terhadap kesedihanku? Kenapa dia tidak memahamiku?

Padahal sebuah hubungan yang tulus tidak membutuhkan label apapun. Tanpa harus berkali-kali kita sebutkan, kita tahu bahwa orang itu berharga bagi kita. Apakah orang itu menganggap kita sama berharganya, tidaklah penting bukan? Hidup ini terus berjalan, akan ada masa dimana orang-orang tertentu tak mampu lagi untuk selalu ada bagi kita. Lalu, apakah itu berarti kita dapat dengan mudah mencopot label sahabat dari mereka? Daripada berpikir dan meminta agar mereka mau memahami, kenapa bukan aku yang belajar memahami?

Mereka bukanlah sahabat, mereka adalah orang yang berharga bagiku. Mereka mungkin tak mampu untuk selalu ada, tapi ada masa dimana mereka pernah berusaha sekuat tenaga untuk kepentinganku. Ini bukan kisah fiksi dimana ketika kita terpuruk dan putus asa, akan ada sahabat sejati yang senantiasa menolong. Terkadang, kita harus menghadapi segala cobaan tanpa bergantung pada orang lain selain pada Tuhan. Daripada mempertanyakan apa nilai dan makna orang lain dalam hidup kita, bukankah kita seharusnya berusaha memberikan makna dalam kehidupan orang-orang di sekitar kita?

Wassalamualaikum. Wr. Wb.

Saturday, November 25, 2017

Raintree no Kuni / The Land of Rain Trees (J-Movie)


It's been a while since the last time I wrote a review for movie / drama / book, but this morning (I'm writing this at 6.30 AM btw) after I finished watching Raintree no Kuni, I felt the need to write something about it. So I did. I wrote a short (not really) review on my Instagram, but I still feel the need to write more on this blog. Is this movie really that good or am I just easily impressed? Well, not all movies / dramas / books made me this excited to review them, which means, this movie really left a great impression at least for me personally. Although I didn't have any expectations when I first found it, and the synopsis that I read on AsianWiki don't even sound interesting. But it turns out to exceed my expectation πŸ˜‚ Okay now without further ado, let's get to the story. Warning: There will be some spoilers!

GIF by literallyadramaqueen on Tumblr
A Cyber Space Friendship
Raintree no Kuni was released in November 2015, starring Yuta Tamamori and Mariya Nishiuchi. It tells a story of Nobuyuki Sakisaka (Yuta Tamamori), a salary man, a kind of guy we often meet in society, an ordinary guy who we can all relate. One day, Nobu lost the last volume of Fairy Games novel series which he hasn't read in so long. He forgot how the series ended and urged by his curiosity, he looked for the details of Fairy Games ending on Internet. He stumbled into a blog named Raintree no Kuni / The Land of Rain Trees. The author of that blog wrote her opinions and impression towards the ending of Fairy Games Novel

"The Fairy Games that I loved had become books I couldn't possibly read again. It also becomes book I'd never forget. It stuck deeply, like a thorn rooted inside of me. But as I grew up, 'so long as love exists, such a thing is a lie...' I understand what this line means. People can't just live by mincing words alone. Sacrifice oneself for loved one is not possible..."

Those words from Raintree no Kuni blog author caught Nobu's interest and made him remember that he also felt disappointed with the bittersweet ending of Fairy Games novel, although his disappointment was based of a different reason. Due to his interest in that author's opinion, Nobu accidentally sent her an email which contains his own opinion regarding Fairy Games novel.

"I, too, was blown away when I read the ending. But, it wasn't because of a feeling of rejection from something you loved, as you described. More to say, it was a beginning of my life that I needed to keep pushing at the powerlessness..."

The author of Raintree no Kuni blog is a woman named Rika Hitomi (Mariya Nishiuchi). Nobu and Rika started communicating with each other through email, they discussed their point of view about Fairy Games novel and they both became so invested in it. This is one of things that I like from this movie, the two main protagonist were connected through their similar interest in the same book, and discuss it together in cyber space while slowly develop a friendship. I mean, I can relate to them on spiritual level. The never ending talk on social media about things we both loved. Oh, I remember all the good old days πŸ˜‚

GIF by nishiuchi on Tumblr
The First Date
Back to the story with some more spoilers: after intensely communicating through social media, Nobu is getting more curious about Rika and wants to meet her in person. But Rika refused his invitation to meet up on a blind date, saying that she isn't confident with her look. But feeling Nobu's sincerity in their conversation, she finally agreed to meet him. They both met up in a book store. This is one of the most painful and awkward scenes to watch 'though, since their first date didn't go as smooth as a love story in Fanfiction πŸ˜‚

GIF by literallyadramaqueen on Tumblr
Rika is actually a beautiful woman, 'though her long hair covered  most of her ears and face and her outfits look plain and dull. Rika is also a very shy and reserved person, but despite of those shy behaviors, Rika is unexpectedly demanding, Rika kinda forced Nobu to fulfill her preference, be it a movie which has to be a foreign movie with subtitle, and restaurant which have more quite environment, and what made Nobu even more annoyed is when Rika didn't move from the elevator they both just got in although the alarm has ring, the sign that the elevator is overweight. Nobu who always speaks what's on his mind bluntly then told Rika that he was disappointed with Rika's attitude. At the same time, he found out that Rika wore a hearing aid and the fact that she is actually deaf. All this time, Rika has been reading Nobu's lips to understand what he said. Rika regretted her act and apologize to Nobu, and decided to end their relationship at the end of that very first date.

GIF by Kisumaiyan on Tumblr
After Nobu found out the truth about Rika, he regretted his action and angers towards her. Although Rika has ended their relationship after the first date, Nobu determined to learn more about Deaf people and do a revenge date with Rika as his apology and to fix the first date which ended up it disaster. Rika doesn't accept his invitation though, she was afraid she would disappoint him and she doesn't have enough confidence about herself, but Nobu's effort and dedication in learning more about Deafness to make Rika let him enter her world once again move Rika. No one has ever cared that much about her except her parents. Is what Nobu feel was a mere sympathy? Or is it a sincere kindness? Slowly, Nobu who never hesitate to speak anything straightforwardly learn the value of words that Rika trying to say in all her limitations.

A Heartwarming (Love) Story
GIF by nishiuchi on Tumblr
I found many interesting points which made this movie left such a great impression in me. A relationship which started from cyber world and exchanging letters, their similar interest towards the same novel, how important it is for an introvert or anti social people to have a place to let out his thoughts (blog, book, etc), dan besarnya peran sebuah kebaikan dan kesediaan seseorang untuk memahami kesedihan dan kesulitan orang lain. Meski kita mungkin tak akan mampu untuk memahami sepenuhnya karena tak berada di posisi atau penderitaan yang sama dengan orang lain, namun niat dan dedikasi yang sungguh-sungguh untuk mau belajar memahami dapat memberikan impact yang luar biasa bagi mereka yang memiliki insecurity yang tinggi. Saya juga suka dengan karakter Nobu yang begitu menggambarkan orang kebanyakan, dimana kita bisa sangat sependapat dengan kekesalan dan opini nya, tapi kita juga diajak untuk bisa menjadi orang yang memilih kebaikan dan menuruti kata hati secara jujur. Nilai-nilai yang disuguhkan film ini lebih dari sekedar romansa si Introvert dan si Ekstrovert. Ia mengenalkan kita lagi tentang kesulitan yang dihadapi People with Disability (PwD), dalam kisah ini khususnya mereka yang kehilangan salah satu kemampuannya karena kecelakaan, bukan sedari lahir, dan bagaimana hal tersebut berpengaruh pada tingkat kepercayaan diri dan kehidupan mereka secara keseluruhan. Love is not about sacrifice. Love is about kindness. And kindness comes in many forms. 

Overall a great story and I rated it 9 / 10 because I can relate to it on spiritual level. Mariya Nishiuchi is amazing as always, but it's been a while since I watched Yuta Tamamori's acting. His natural portrayal as Nobu surprised me and exceeded my expectation. I will definitely look for more of his works. 😊